stupid song...

Sara Bareilles - Gravity

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I’ll still feel you here ’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

You loved me ’cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down

Other people say it better..

"'Hope' is the thing with the feathers-- That perches in the soul-- And sings the tune without the words-- And never stops--at all-- Emily Dickenson

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

"You know I know better, I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing, 'cause if the birds and the flowers survive then I'll make it ok. Given a chance and a rock see which one breaks a window, and see which one keeps me up all night and into the day."
~~Caedmon's Call

"Love's Recovery"- Indigo Girls
During the time of which I speak
It was hard to turn the other cheek
To the blows of insecurity
Feeding the cancer of my intellect
The blood of love soon neglected
Lay dying in the strength of it’s impurity
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
They’ve all gone and left each other
In search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love’s recovery

There I am in younger days, star gazing
Painting picture perfect maps
Of how my life and love would be
Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
My compass, faith in love’s perfection
I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
Left each other one by one on the road to fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love’s recovery

Rain soaked and voice choked
Like silent screaming in a dream
I search for our absolute distinction
Not content to bow and bend
To the whims of culture that swoop like vultures
Eating us away, eating us away
Eating us away to our extinction

Oh how I wish I were a trinity
So if I lost a part of me
I’d still have two of the same to live
But nobody gets a lifetime rehearsal
As specks of dust we’re universal
To let this love survive
Would be the greatest gift that we could give
Tell all the friends who think they’re so together
That these are ghosts and mirages
All these thoughts of fairer weather
Though it’s storming out I feel safe within the arms
Of love’s discovery"

Easter

“Many have found that the awesome sight of the star-studded heavens evoke a sense of wonder, an awareness of transcendence, that is charge with spiritual significance. Yet the distant shimmering of these stars does no itself create this sense of longing; it merely exposes what is already there. They are catalysts for our spiritual insights, revealing our emptiness and compelling us to ask whether and how this void might be filled.

Might our true origins and destiny somehow lie beyond those stars? Might there not be a homeland, from which we are presently exiled and to which we secretly long to return? Might not our accumulation of discouragement and disillusionment with our present existence be a pointer to another land where our true destiny lies and which is able to make its presence felt now in this haunting way?

Suppose that this is not where we are meant to be but that a better land is at hand? We don’t belong here. We have somehow lost our way. Would not this make our present existence both strange and splendid? Strange, because it is not where our true destiny lies; splendid, because it points ahead to where that real hope might be found. The beauty of the night skies or a glorious sunset are important pointers to the origins and the ultimate fulfillment of our heart’s deepest desires. But if we mistake the signpost for what is signposted, we will attach our hopes and longings to lesser goals, which cannot finally quench our thirst for meaning”. Alister McGrath

OK so I don't know what to think about things like this. I struggle with ideas of Heaven. For the first time in my life I really do have hope. I have hope for things that are better than this. I know that God is working and growing me until the day of completion... but what does that mean?? I finally made myself read 90 Minutes in Heaven and it gave me excitement and freedom to hope for the first time in my whole life. But here's the deal: I'm scared to be me forever. I'm scared of things I can't control. I don't know what to expect.. who will I love in Heaven? Who will love me? Will it matter or will Jesus be all that matters? That is all that matters... why is that not enough for me outside of singing my guts out at the altar?

This morning was incredible. I was apart of this incredible skit.. dance... drama.. at church. It was this picture of spiritual warfare that is unreal. When the video shows up it'll be on here... and for now me and my busted lip and my best friend are gonna find some food.