Back Where I Began...

Well first of all.... good grief its been a while! I think I have lost some faithful readers due to my lack of blogging! Sorry, friends! I promise that 2010 is going to be a different year. Mostly because in our Christmas cards this year, we sent out a link to our blog with it! Now I have accountability on my side! Ha! Did you get a Christmas card from us? I'm so sorry if you didn't! Here it is now if you didn't =)

In light of an apology I am going to attempt to catch up on what's happened since our last post! (October... 5th, I believe??) Its been an... interesting and FULL Fall. Sooooo grab a cup of coffee or something because this is a LONG post!

Yall know we got the house, but it has been QUITE an adventure with it! I'll spare you the details but the most prominent of the issues is that we were heat-less for three weeks at the end of November-December. Mm..hm.... it was a little chilly up in here.

Had our first snow during that time.

But we made it through. It wasn't too terrible until that week after Thanksgiving. God is so faithful to meet us in the tiniest of things!

OK I have to stop there and back up. I can't stand things going out of order! (I'm such a weirdo!)

OK the week of out last post (10-5-09) my incredible, wonderful, best friend was very very pregnant and it was time for a fabulous baby shower! Its been such an incredible experience watching her grow as baby Avery grew in her belly! This is my first pic I got of her =)
So we are a little crazy and wanted to do something a little bit different so instead of an all pink kind of shower, we opted for a Halloween themed shower! We all dressed up in costumes and it was such a funny and fun day =)

The hostesses with the Momma and baby M&M! =)
Momma with all her ADPi's
Amanda trying to eat me.... that's why she's my favorite =)
That Thursday, I flew to Maine to meet up with my beautiful sister, her rather fab (and whoa tall) significant other, and we rode on a bus to Augusta for her best friend's wedding! I was the gift... lol.. the wedding coordinator =) It was such a fun trip getting to know Adam (sister's beau) and of course watching them interact with their friends as well as getting to be a part of Kathleen and Ryan's wedding! (Here's a link to my wedding planning blog where I talked about their wedding in more detail!)

Here are a few shots of us southerners experiencing the north! =)

Sisser-boo and I in historic downtown Augusta
Adam and the girls by the shore =)
Me trying lobster for the first time... it was... fishy
Most hilarious rehearsal dinner I have ever seen... ever. But in a good way =) Lots of laughter and fun times for all.
Story of my life... maintaining a positive attitude at a rehearsal ;)
When I talked my sister into putting a Big Red Chewing Gum wrapper on her forehead LOL funniest thing EVER
Fall will never be the same ever again after seeing a gorgeous October in Maine!
The gorgeous maid of honor =)
The beautiful Bride and I!
And the last picture I took before leaving the north east which was sadly san-Starbucks, but extremely populated by Dunkin Donuts which started a new love affair in my life...

OK so two days after I got back from Maine, I drove my tired little butt to Knoxville for my sweet friend Meredith's AND my other close friend Brittany's wedding! AAHH!! Yes that's right, they were both married that Saturday October 16th. It was a long, but rather fabulous day. Starting with Mer Mer's festivities =) (And their names are linked to my wedding planning blog as well!)

Funniest set up for a wedding reception of my life.. that's all the bridesmaids and the Bride packed into the back of Andrew's truck!
Rehearsal Date =)
A little bit freaking chilly at the rehearsal!
Bridesmaids at the rehearsal dinner... we took a LOT of pictures =) But we were having so much fun with our Mer!

My oldest and sweetest friend
The only peek you'll see from the..after... lol
OK on to the wedding day... don't have many of those considering.. i was in it! BUT you can laugh along with me at how ridiculous I am here...
She's so purty
=)

Well I got to stay at the reception through the toasts and her cake cutting and then I was on the road again to meet up with my hubby who was documenting Britt's wedding in upper East TN =)

She's so purty too =)
LOL our faces... kind of typical
Trying to tell the guys what to do... trying ;)
I find it REALLY funny that she put my flower on me 0=)

GAH what a cry I had that day... our friend is so beautiful and so happy!
yeah he's OK too =)
I wish this pic wasn't so blurry but its one of my absolute favorites. We come in a set of 3 =)

You know who these people are...I've missed you, Tiffers.
Fun shot hubby caught =)
OK so when we got married, Britt was behind the scenes with us. She stayed with me right all the way up until I walked down the aisle and our photog caught this shot

Well, then we had a repeat =) and its my favorite moment of the whole day

And then I breathed for a minute or so... I think? OH! I went to Sharp Top Cove for the weekend with Murfreesboro Young Life! Andrew and I joined the committee and are still trying to figure out how to do that well, BUT we have still remained active in the lives of some of the leaders and staff. So, Matt Thomas (area director) asked if I could come help our friend Landon lead club! (their worship time) It is LITERALLY one of my favorite places on the planet, the stage at a Young Life camp. All of those kids and their leaders, screaming songs at the top of their lungs, freedom and joy radiating from their faces. GAH I LOVE IT!
AND on top of that two of my Young Life girls are leaders now. SO incredible to watch them grow with their girls! AND (such a fun surprise) another one of my girls came to work on work crew! (Volunteer work over the weekend where they serve the kids!) Such an amazing and emotional experience =) We still have such a love for this ministry!

Next: Moved a lot... painted and cleaned a lot... raked and mowed OUR lawn =)
And then..... I got a special delivery from Virginia!!
During the summer of 2006, I went to work for a month at a Young Life camp in Colorado called Frontier. It was one of the most influential summers of my life in my walk with the Lord. It totally revolutionized the way I saw people in the Kingdom of God, the way I saw friendships, my relationship with Andrew, EVERYTHING changed. This beautiful young woman was such a HUGE part of that and I am so glad to say, 3 and a half years later, she's still walking with me. Her name is Katie. She lives in Fairfax, VA and is a youth minister at a church there. She loves to love on young people. It is absolutely her gift. Need some encouragement in your life? Read her blog. http://www.goodnessandmercy.wordpress.com

OK so all that is to say, Katie came to visit! Wohoo!!!

My sweet friends helped me take her out for a night on the town =)
Goodness I love that girl

OK in that SAME week Katie was here, there was another special delivery....
AVERY LYNN LILES!!!! Born November 11th, 2009. 6:18pm.

I'm not proud at all...

I finally got to meet Avery when she was 5 days old... needless to say, we're instant friends =)

Thankfully there was a holiday close by so we didn't have to wait to long to see her again and for her and Andrew to meet!! (He did so great with her!)

AAHH!! She's sooo precious! More bragging on her later... for the rest of her life I'm sure.

(I told you I had good reasons that I wasn't blogging as much! Our fall was F-U-L-L!!)

Let's see what's left... um....

Still with Karleigh! She is fabulous, as always. AND she's going to be a big sister!! That's right, the wonderful family that I nanny for is expecting their second little GIRL in March(ish)! AND the other majorly wonderful, exciting news is that they're moving to Murfreesboro literally 5 minutes away from us!

Ah, I know what else I did in December. My precious, beautiful friend Lauren was baptized at her church in Memphis. My friends Tiffany and Amanda and I drove down there for it. I will never ever forget that moment. Such a sweet picture of the true Redeeming Love of Christ. You can watch the video here:

Few shots with friends while in Memphis =)

The last thing that we did before we went to Knoxville for Christmas was have the first party ever at our house... who were the lucky guests?
My beautiful Young Life girls!
OK well they're not young enough to be my "young life" girls anymore, but they always will be to me! They just finished their 1st semester of their SECOND year of college! AAH!! I'm so proud of them =) Aren't they beautiful?


And that's what the heck we've been up to just since October!! Why was Andrew in and out of a lot of that? Well that's because he's on tour with an artist of course. A rather fun and fabulous artist (not Toby Keith thank goodness!) who treats the crew really well. He's been home since the 2nd week of December! YAY!!

Are you still alive? That was a rather long post, but now you know and are officially updated =)

Much love in the New Year!
-Em-

"Jesus, Invade"

To the precious few who read this flippin' thing, I'm sorry that I suck at blogging right now. I think about it all the time, I promise. If you're out there and have been through this with us, will you let me know? I'll be more intentional in communicating with you!!! =)

Here is the final update that we sent out last week... =)

Well.......

we're homeowners!!!! =)





I sincerely apologize that this is coming so late! Most of you already know this news, but I wanted mostly to thank you for your prayers and sweet words of encouragement over the past couple of weeks, as well as update you thus far!

After our last e-mail, the closing went ahead as scheduled on Tuesday! It has been an interesting week or so. The owners took pretty good care of the house as a whole... but they did NOT clean it... ever. So its been kind of a humbling experience for me to receive this incredible gift, this inheritance from the Lord, but then to really have to WORK at it before we can enjoy it. (and all the homeowners shake their heads and laugh...)

Our lease on our apartment does not end until November so we have several weeks to clean the house up, do some repairs, paint and etc and we are so grateful for the gift of time!

Thank you friends and family for all your prayers, encouragement, and for really walking with us through this huge crazy experience! We are so thankful for you!!!

On a little bit of a side note, one of the reasons I have had a delay in getting this e-mail out has to do with one of my Young Life girls. On Tuesday night, right after we had gotten into the house, I found out that one of my YL girl's boyfriends was killed in Afghanistan. If you live in Murfreesboro, its the 20 year old boy who went to Siegel Corey Kowall, who's been all over the news. Words cannot begin to describe the emotions and just... intense pain this little girl has experienced. (OK she's not a little girl, she's 19, but she's one of my babies to me) The funeral proceedings have been honorable and beautiful, but very intense and emotional as well.The media coverage has been... a little bit.. invasive. This is my opinion, but I've seen already what its done to affect her on a personal level. Instead of recording just the facts and honoring his death and life, the stories are "Dead soldiers girlfriend wanted to marry him someday" and things of that nature. The front page of the story this morning was not an image of the flag being folded and handed to his mother, or of his camrades carrying his coffin... it was of her face the moment the 21 gun salute began when she uttered the most horrible cry I've ever heard in my life. How does she heal when she is now famous in a small town because she buried the man she wanted to marry????

Anyway.. I say all this because I would really love to ask you all to pray for her. Her name is Ashley West. She is still very new in her faith and has experienced more in life than most 19 year olds have not dreamed of, but especially with this loss... my heart just absolutely breaks for her. I probably said a little too much about it, but it has been so heavily a part of my life this past week. The joy of our new beginning in our home, the joy of babies being born to friends, engagements taking place, life at its fullest has also been totally devastated by a town TRULY honoring a young man, but a few of us trying to love this sweet girl in her sorrow. Its just a lot. Could you please pray for her?

Could you also pray for Andrew and I in this season? We have this amazing house we are so blessed with, but Andrew left town the first full day we owned it. Our amazing community group leader and his son from church came and mowed and weed-eated our lawn on Sunday. So many friends have come in and out to help clean already, but Andrew and I are experiencing all of this separately. Please pray that God will unite us in this situation and He will guide us in how to communicate and transition into this new journey together, even if we're not in the same place. Could you also already be praying that our home would be a place of fellowship, hospitality, and love? There are words to a Watermark song called "Invade" that I love so dearly and plan to put up in our house someday. It just seems like the most perfect prayer for our lives in ministry, but in each of our Promised Lands, our homes, our Inheritance that God has given us. Would you pray this for us?:

"Come, come in.
Invade all you see of us
Any man that walks Your road
is welcomed here
and You're the Only One

Oh, Jesus
come and walk the halls of this house
Tread this place and turn it inside out with Your mercy
and Jesus
teach us the prayers that open these doors
until Your light floods in and illuminates these floors
and let your Truth be on our steps and in these rooms
Jesus, Invade.

Reach, reach in
with a hand that heals all our suffering
Conquer all that is not of You
bring Your Spirit through
as we fill the walls with Your praise

Oh, Jesus
come and walk the halls of this house
Tread this place and turn it inside out with Your mercy
and Jesus
teach us the prayers that open these doors
until Your light floods in and illuminates these floors
and let your Truth be on our steps and in these rooms
Jesus, Invade.

Invade
I call for angels
I call for mercy
I call for freedom
In the name of Jesus

Come, come in.
Invade all you see of us
Any man that walks Your road
is welcomed here
and You're the Only One
You're the Only One

Oh, Jesus
come and walk the halls of this house
Tread this place and turn it inside out with Your mercy
and Jesus
teach us the prayers that open these doors
until Your light floods in and illuminates these floors
and let your Truth be on our steps and in these rooms
Jesus, Invade."

Thank you again and again and again and when we finally get everything fixed and move, we can't wait to open our doors to you the way you have to us!

Sooooo much love,
Em (and a still out of town Andrew)

An update on Ashley... she's hanging in there. It really hit her Friday of the week they buried him. She has tons of friends checking on her... but please just pray for her precious heart as she walks through this healing process. She's beautiful ... see? =) (She's the one I have my arms wrapped around.) And so are all these other precious girls who are growing up WAY too fast. They are already well into their 2nd year of college AAHHH!!!

He Leadeth Me

Ok friends. I've decided its time you heard the whole story. It has not come to a conclusion yet. But I think.. its time. Here is an e-mail I sent to friends and family that were praying/walking with us a couple of weeks ago in this HUGE change happening in our life. It tells the first part of the story. It is dated September 4, 2009.

Hello family and friends!

Most of you know that Andrew and I have recently been looking for houses in the smyrna/murfreesboro area because we feel like that is where God is calling us to put down roots.

Again most of you know it has been a challenge to get a loan for a home because we are both self-employed. However as one of our teaching pastors says, the Lord's history with His people is full of "But God". We were able to get a loan through a bank in the Boro. Our approval letter is dated August 10th (our original anniversary) and we received the letter on our 2 year anniversary the next day.

We were gone and unable to really walk through the loan and what would be required of us until this past Tuesday. We met with the man assisting us and we walked away feeling much more confident and went straight to meet our realator and friend, Tanya, to look at a few houses.

The next time we went to physically look at houses at all was day before yesterday, Wednesday the 2nd. The first 2 homes we went to were good homes but one of us, Andrew or I, were left.. off by the house. We pulled up to the 3rd house and before we even got inside, Andrew wanted to know what I thought. He really liked the neighborhood and the location (which was a shock to me bc I loved it to!) It all just went up from there. We both loved the house.

On our way to see a 4th house, Tanya had called the realator for the house we liked to ask her a question. It had only been back on the market a week from having a contract on it. Tanya was concerned as to why their contract had fallen through. It had nothing to do with the house BUT someone had called in an offer on the house that very morning.

So Tanya, Andrew and I talked and prayed in the kitchen of the 4th house we were supposed to be looking at about what we should do. After running numbers, lots of discussion and prayer, Andrew and I put an offer on the house that afternoon.

Last night, Tanya called to say that the owners wanted to hear the "highest and best" from each of the potential buyers. Tanya said we should hear something late tonight or in the morning.

Within an hour, Andrew called "we got the house." :)

Some of you knew this already and were praying and waiting with us over that intense 24 hour period, some of you were clueless but had been praying through this journey. Now we are asking for your prayers again.

The home inspection is on Monday at 4:30. (Amazing to me someone would work on Labor Day for us...AND its Andrew's birthday- what a gift that would be!!) Could you please pray that God will continue to guide every single step we take? If the home inspection reveals something that says this is not the house for us, as Alicia so wisely shared with me, that is God's protection of us. Pray we see His will no matter the outcome. We are so grateful to experience this no matter what because His glory is all over this process. I know its silly but I am just so blown away how intimately He reveals that He is a God of details. He cares about our house, our neighbors, our commute to work.. Truly everything is in His oh so capable hands.

Would you please pray these words would be true of us no matter what? Whether this house is it or He has just gone through this process with us to show us He is trustworthy in ALL matters; we truly desire to be obedient, faithful and trusting to His ends.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do and all your plans will succeed. The Lord works out everything for His own ends." Proverbs 16:3-4

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast trusting the Lord." Psalms 112:7

"For I know the plans I have for you, 'declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Please keep this as private as you can. We covet the prayers, but you all know how hard it can be to come back with... not bad news... but a change of plans to multiple people who may not know the whole story. If you don't mind, if you want to share this with others, just shoot one of us a text or email and ask 0:) We appreciate your grace, love and understanding so so much.

We are so grateful for you, more than you'll ever know :)
-Andrew and Em

OK so, that was then... and this is the one I sent today.

Hello sweet friends and family-

Well., needless to say it has been a crazy couple of weeks!! Since the last e-mail I sent, we were preparing for the house inspection. The house inspection actually went REALLY well. The house is 16 years old so there were a few things that could be expected, but the few things that we really wanted them to fix they agreed to take care of!

So… all was set to close tomorrow, BUT it seems that the appraisal is taking a while to get back. So… not tomorrow, but Tuesday. Our friend and realtor thinks that everything is going to be OK because the sellers want this to work out AND they’ve agreed to come back for Tuesday. (They’ve already moved out of town.)

We really believe this is the house God has intended for us. He’s asking us to trust Him yet again (doesn’t He everyday?). In this, I just keep thinking about something God revealed to me through Beth Moore’s study of Esther. When Esther was faced with her choice to approach the King, she had to choose courageous faith. Something Beth talked about to us was that courageous faith is not living in denial that our worst fears could come true, its living in the reality that they could and very possibly might, but that God will still be on His throne. She had us fill in blanks for realizing our worst fears that looked like this: If______________ then God _________________.

For those of you who have bought a home before, this very well could be just part of the process, which if it is, awesome. But even if it is just “part of the process” Andrew and I want to invite the Lord to lead that, and more importantly lead our hearts in that. I want my courageous faith statement to say if this house is not the one and we lose it then God protected us, STILL has a plan for us, a BETTER house for us and He is just as present in this closed door as He is in open ones.

This may seem silly to those of you who have maybe done this before… but for me… I don’t want to think of it as preparing for the worst… I want to think of it as preparing for what is HIS best. Either way, inviting Him constantly into this situation, HE receives the Glory either way. HE is the source of the celebration and we are amazed at His wondrous works or HE is the comforter. HE is the author of life. "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast trusting the Lord." Psalms 112:7. HE is still on HIS throne.

So even if your prayer sounds like “Dear Jesus, I pray for Emily to get a grip and take a note from her always calm and patient husband. Amen.” Then it will be an appreciated and needed prayer. But most of all, please pray that Andrew and I will courageously trust Jesus and His provisions for us and our future.

“He leadeth me: O blessed thought!  

O words with heavenly comfort fraught!  

Whate'er I do, where'er I be, 

still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me.  

He leadeth me, He leadeth me, 

by His own hand He leadeth me; 

His faithful follower I would be, 

for by His hand He leadeth me.”

We love you and we’re thankful for you.

-Em (and a traveling Andrew)

So.... there it is. And now we wait... and pray...

"I know nothin' except change will come"

Good freaking goodness the Lord has moved SOOOOO fast in our lives the past few weeks! I want to talk about it... I'm a little nervous to really detail it out though until it has fully come to fruition. Friday. Friday it will fully be real. Me not posting it here will allow for grace if the Lord decides to change things up between now and then. AAAHH I can't wait to share!

Within this one week, however, here are all the things that have happened:
-Andrew turned 25
-Karleigh turned 2
-Cali's bachelorette party... lots of firsts there... *cough cough*
-Will and Cali's wedding rehearsal dinner. I think her grandaddy summed it up well "When I was a young man, you just didn't tell people how much you loved them. But not this bunch. Even the guys say I love you and its beautiful"
-Will and Cali's wedding.... what a day. Cali's mom actually had something typed up on their water bottles a phrase that summed it up (almost prophetically) "Marriage isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain." CRAZY monsoon wedding.. literally.
-LOTS of sickness... even the Bride ended up getting sick. Hubby was among casualties. (feeling MUCH better today though!)
-my parents in for the weekend (always an adventure)
-saw WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like this deserves a blog all on its own. I'm off quite a bit this week trying to get caught up.. maybe I will.
-beautiful time at church this morning.
-sat in a bookstore all afternoon and re-read Redeeming Love. Almost all of it. Read page 1 to 170 something. Then moved on to where she left that final time to the end. I forgot that the first time I read it I skipped around a lot. So I caught up on all the parts I had skimmed through. Maybe another day this week I'll go back and read the meat and potatoes part that is my favorite. Although I forgot how incredible the end is... gah I love that book. I don't own it anymore though bc every time I get a copy I give it away to someone. So now I only buy it in gift form.

I am now trying to upload all the pictures I have taken on my blackberry and camera from our Charleston trip as well as the wedding and time with Karleigh. Should be good stuff when it finally finishes.

P.S. Kanye West- you are finished, bro.

P.P.S.- Beyonce can take care of herself and Jay-Z should kick your ***

Watch out for our crazy story this week!!! If you've been following us and praying thank you!!!

"This is the day that the Lord has made..."

"I will REJOICE and be glad in it!!!" Psalm 118:24

For me, today is BIG day to rejoice in because its my husband's birthday!!! He really hates attention on this particular day. Its not on facebook or anything. BUT I want him to know he's special and that this is an amazing day. =)

So in honor of his birthday, I'm going to steal an idea from our sweet friend Tracy, and list 25 things I love about my husband (since he's 25 today.) =)

25. Our story
24. The way he laughs
23. The fact that he gets so mad that restaurants are phasing out Mellow Yellow and the way he celebrates when they have it.
22. He always does the dishes.
21. As much as it drives me nuts, I miss when he is not here to leave his cereal bowl in the shower (because he eats his cereal in the shower... I know.)
20. His random Mitch Hedberg jokes that never come out right.
19. The fact that he still LOVES to play with Leggos.
18. That everyday I keep Karleigh, he says "tell the boo I said hi!"
17. His little cute voices when he's being silly.
16. His little victory dances that he would never admit to.
15. Almost our entire refrigerator is covered with magnets from the places he's been in the past 2 years. LITERALLY.
14. The way he loves his close friends.
13. That he enjoys a good library and/or bookstore.
12. He'll watch movies that are NOT guy friendly, and often enjoys them.
11. The way people talk about him when I get to go to work with him.
10. The way he's not starstruck AT ALL by the people he works with. He is CONSTANTLY surrounded by famous people and just takes it in stride.
9. The way he cares about my close friends.
8. Daisies.
7. The way he loves his Mamaw Jo.
6. How gracious he is when I just cannot get it together.
5. The way he gets better and better and BETTER at giving gifts. Its amazing. (and not in that spoiled brat way. Its the timing, the thoughts behind the gifts.)
4. When he text messages me in French.
3. When he woke up this morning and I was busy doing stuff, I found him laying in bed reading scripture. Sexiest thing I've ever seen yo.
2. If you know us at all, we make this weird noise like "mow mow" as if to say, "hi I'm here" or "whatcha doin?" or even "just in case I haven't said it in a while, I love you."
1. He is the One I was created for and I was the one created for him. The way God reinforces this EVERY single time it gets hard. To God be the Glory.

In the VERY beginning...

At a Darius Rucker/Dierks Bentley show on our anniversary this year in Charleston. (aka going to work with hubby day ;) )

For the Brokenhearted

you know who you are. I'm with you.

There are two; both from Nicole.

“Every Season”- Nicole Nordeman
Every evening sky an invitation to trace the pattern stars
And early in July a celebration for freedom that is ours
And I notice you in children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered to the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice you when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what is and what’s to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white all creation shivers underneath
And still I notice you when branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even in now in death you open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything new that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
And what was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with you and how you make me new with every season’s change
And so it will be
As you are recreating me summer, autumn, winter, spring."

“Small Enough”- Nicole Nordeman
Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel’s Den
And I have asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
Just wanna know you’re gonna hold me if I start to cry
Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now.

Oh Great God, be close enough to feel you now.
Oh Great God be close to me
There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own
And how could I forget we’ve marched around our share of Jerichos
But I will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
Just wanna know that everything will be alright.
Oh Great God, be close enough to feel you now.

All praise and all the honor be to the God of Ancient Mysteries
Who’s every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy
And I cannot keep from whispering this prayer
“Are you there?”

And I know you could leave writing on the wall that’s just for me
Or send wisdom while I’m sleeping like in Solomon’s sweet dreams
But I don’t need the strength of Samson
Or a chariot in the end
Just wanna know that You still know how many hairs are on my head.
Oh great God.
Are you small enough?
Be small enough to hear me now."


I'm so sorry I don't have better words. These are some that He sends to comfort me.
I love you.